Is he over his X?

Moving on from a past relationship isn’t always easy. Things get even more complicated if you’ve just begun a relationship with a man who seems to be still hooked on his X. Here are a few tell tale signs to watch out for:

He still has her number in his phone…is it possible that they’re just friends? When might this be a problem?
This is a problem when one or both have not moved on yet and have other motives for staying in touch other than remaining friends. In other words, they’re not done dating or not done breaking up. He called me by her name a few times – OMG!
Well, ironically this isn’t the worst sign on the list. If it happens quite frequently, it may be that her name and therefore her presence seems to be still deeply imbedded in his unconscious. You need to have a conversation with him to let him know how much this hurts you and that he needs to be more careful. Other times, men simply make this mistake out of habit so don’t read too much into it.
They’re friends on Facebook – is that ok?
Remaining friends on FB might be fine, (although not recommended because ‘facebook stalking’ prolongs the agony of an already difficult situation) however all romantic pictures should be removed since it not only sends the wrong message publicly to others, but this step should be taken as a clear indication that the previous romantic relationship has now ended or transformed into a friendship. Leaving romantic type pictures sends mixed messages about the nature of the relationship to all who see them. If he’s not ready to remove/untag than perhaps he’s not ready to move on.

He’s still in touch with her family. What about catching up for weekly visits with them?
If he knew her family before meeting the girl, then it might be justified to remain in contact with them, otherwise it is likely to create unnecessary tension and confusion, for everyone involved. The frequency of the visits should also be considered. Weekly meetings seems rather excessive.
Occasionally my man and his X have coffee catch-ups…should I be worried? Setting up meetings really serves little purpose other than the fact that either person might be using the title of friendship as a subconscious excuse to be around their x. Why hasn’t he invted you to join in during these coffee sessions?

He still has tons of photos of her…is that normal?
Keeping picture frames of past relationships in the house is the same as keeping that person’s finger prints all over your life. That’s not to say the pictures should be ripped up and thrown away. In the same way that each person who enters our life leaves an impression, those pictures should be kept in a place where that impression is acknowledged and appreciated, without advertising it.

What about if he buys her a birthday present and sends her cards?
Past relationships need to be kept in the PAST. Engaging in activities, such as birthdays and other celebrations together brings that past into the present, which can damage a current relationship or confuse the transition between a break up and moving on. Any evidence that more time, attention or resources are being used on an x is a red flag that he’s not moved on yet, even if it is guilt related