Is it time for a relationship MOT?

Every year we take our cars into the garage to check if they're still roadworthy. An MOT test can pick up any signs of impending problems, and a pass certificate proves that the car is fit for another 12 months of wear and tear.
And many experts now say that our relationships should have an annual MOT too. Lots can change in the course of a year. An annual relationship MOT can identify niggly little problems before they turn into great big ones, and a few easy adjustments now can save a lot of heartache later.
According to sex and relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr, 'couples definitely need to MOT their love every so often. The couples that do so are the most successful.'
Here's what to look out for when you open the bonnet.
The future
When you first got together you probably didn't give too hoots for the long-term future - you just wanted to have fun now.
But if you've been together a year or more, and now wear the title of 'boyfriend' with pride, it's worth knowing you're on the same page when it comes to the big decisions. What do you both want a few years down the line - a mortgage together? Marriage? Kids? Or just lots more fun?
Talking about this stuff may sound boring, but it can save a world of heartache later. What if you want kids eventually, and all she cares about is her glittering career? What if you think the relationship is fun and not too serious, and she's been eyeing up engagement rings on the high street?
According to relationship expert Susan Quilliam, author of The New Joy of Sex, you don't have to agree on everything. 'You can keep a relationship together, even with differing aims. You just might have to compromise a little bit more.'
So agree to have a year of fun before getting really serious, or compromise and say you'll rent together for a bit before getting a mortgage.
Money
Couples argue over money more than pretty much anything else, so an annual evaluation of your financial situation as a partnership can be an absolute life-saver.
Quilliam suggests you discuss, 'who should earn, who can spend - do you need to consult your other half before making buying decisions?'
Fact is, many of us aren't good at talking about money, and through the year niggling anxieties over cash flow - whether it's being clogged up by your addiction to new trainers or her decision to go part-time and study for other qualifications - can fester and cause serious resentment. Talking through your incomings and outgoings now can save a lot of bitter words six months down the line when you find out she can't afford to go on holiday with you after all.
Priorities
Are you spending enough time together? Perhaps you think that you are, but she secretly discounts all the times you're out together in a group. She means quality time alone.
You won't know unless you talk about it, and making sure you both agree that you have your priorities right - that you both feel you put each other before work, hobbies and nights out - is one of the cornerstones of a good relationship.
And if there's a problem? 'It may sound contrived, but booking in time in your diary with your favourite people is the only way to make sure that the days or weeks don't pass without you spending quality time together,' says Sarah Abell, author of 'Authentic: Relationships from the Inside Out'.
Sex
Like money, many couples find it difficult to talk about sex, so make it an item for discussion during your relationship MOT and then you can't duck the issue.
It might be all hunky dory, of course, but if there's a mismatch over sex, it's often that one partner - let's face it, usually the man - wants it more frequently than the other.
But talking about it - sensitively and without apportioning blame - is one way to make sure sexual frustration, and even the notion that she just doesn't fancy you that much any more, don't undermine your relationship. Airing the issue is a fundamental step to resolving it.
And if you don't think you're getting enough sex it might be that busy lives rather than any lack of interest on her part are to blame. The solution? 'Switch off the TV and put some time aside for early nights and long lie-ins on a Sunday so you can enjoy sex with no time pressure,' advises psychosexual therapist Julia Cole.
Any other business
Don't miss anything out during your annual relationship MOT. You or your partner might want to talk about everything from the division of housework to the amount of time you both spend with friends or family, so put at least an hour or so aside.
And remember, one of the most insidious things to undermine a relationship is a lack of communication. When they first get together, couples tend to tell each other everything. As the months and years slip by, that two-way stream of information can dry to a trickle.
If you feel you and your partner don't talk the way you once did, now's a good time to mention it. And by both agreeing to take part in a relationship MOT in the first place, you're taking the first big step to putting your communication problems right