If you have recently started dating someone in secret or have been in a hushed up relationship for some time it may be prudent to ask yourself how healthy the partnership is and if it really holds long-lasting happiness for you.
1. Don’t get caught up in the excitement
Initially, it may all seem like a naughty fantasy; one that sees you acting outside of your normal ‘relationship behaviour’. But the first flushes of excitement may not last as long as you hope for and when reality bites it could have a nasty nip. Ask yourself if this person is really worth the heartbreak that could be waiting just around the corner.
Initially, it may all seem like a naughty fantasy; one that sees you acting outside of your normal ‘relationship behaviour’. But the first flushes of excitement may not last as long as you hope for and when reality bites it could have a nasty nip. Ask yourself if this person is really worth the heartbreak that could be waiting just around the corner.
2. Be honest
Ask yourself and your secret love if you are really being true to your feelings. Are you embarking on this rollercoaster romance just because it is forbidden or do you both truly feel that you could be destined for great things as a couple? Consider the possibility that this relationship could be very short lived and it is likely to be you that ends up hurt.
Ask yourself and your secret love if you are really being true to your feelings. Are you embarking on this rollercoaster romance just because it is forbidden or do you both truly feel that you could be destined for great things as a couple? Consider the possibility that this relationship could be very short lived and it is likely to be you that ends up hurt.
3. Strike a balance
Weigh up your options. Do you really need to be lying to your friends and family about your relationship or is just that you are underestimating their capacity to understand how you feel about this man in your life? In most cases, our family and friends want us to be happy. If they can provide valid reasons why this relationship won’t work, then it is worth listening to them. Sure, the final decision must be yours but a little guidance along the way could offer great comfort when you are in two minds.
Weigh up your options. Do you really need to be lying to your friends and family about your relationship or is just that you are underestimating their capacity to understand how you feel about this man in your life? In most cases, our family and friends want us to be happy. If they can provide valid reasons why this relationship won’t work, then it is worth listening to them. Sure, the final decision must be yours but a little guidance along the way could offer great comfort when you are in two minds.
4. Family feuds
Secrecy breeds contempt. When family and friends find out they have been deceived it could result in a fractious situation becoming even worse. This will affect everyone, not just you and your secret partner. Be prepared for your loved ones to be upset when the secret outs and bear in mind that they may need time to come to terms with your decision. Respect their views and take a step back from the situation for a while or until they approach you with their views and opinions.
Secrecy breeds contempt. When family and friends find out they have been deceived it could result in a fractious situation becoming even worse. This will affect everyone, not just you and your secret partner. Be prepared for your loved ones to be upset when the secret outs and bear in mind that they may need time to come to terms with your decision. Respect their views and take a step back from the situation for a while or until they approach you with their views and opinions.
5. Be respectful
Time is a great healer and when your family and friends let you know their thoughts on your relationship take the time to respect their views. They may not be exactly the same as yours and could even be the exact opposite of what you wanted to hear, but if the relationship with your partner and your family is strong enough then it will survive the difficult times. Bear in mind that just because someone sees things differently to you, does not always mean they are wrong.
Time is a great healer and when your family and friends let you know their thoughts on your relationship take the time to respect their views. They may not be exactly the same as yours and could even be the exact opposite of what you wanted to hear, but if the relationship with your partner and your family is strong enough then it will survive the difficult times. Bear in mind that just because someone sees things differently to you, does not always mean they are wrong.
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