Our relationship expert Lizzie Cernik helps to solve your problems. This week, how to live in harmony with your husband.
The problem: “I recently got married to a wonderful man. But ever since we’ve moved in together he’s been driving me crazy. He’s much messier than me and we like to fall asleep at different times. We already knew we enjoyed different TV programmes but now we’re in the same house all the time it’s become annoying rather than endearing. Help!”
Lizzie says: When you move in with your partner, it can be a shock to the system, especially if you’ve never lived with a partner before. Different schedules and attitudes to washing up can grate each others nerves, making it difficult to have a civil conversation.
Make some ground rules
Ground rules will be different for every couple, but they’ll really help make sure the home runs smoothly. Whether it’s set days for taking out the bins or a call system in place for when he works late, establish your rules and stick to them. Relationships are about compromise so you’ll have to give a little too.
Ground rules will be different for every couple, but they’ll really help make sure the home runs smoothly. Whether it’s set days for taking out the bins or a call system in place for when he works late, establish your rules and stick to them. Relationships are about compromise so you’ll have to give a little too.
Sort a rota
If chores are the issue, a simple solution is to put a rota in place. You don’t have to stick to it like it’s an army registered document, but use it as a guide. That way you’ll both get a night off now and again. If you’re the one who makes the most mess, try making a concerted effort to be tidier. It’ll cause fewer rows.
If chores are the issue, a simple solution is to put a rota in place. You don’t have to stick to it like it’s an army registered document, but use it as a guide. That way you’ll both get a night off now and again. If you’re the one who makes the most mess, try making a concerted effort to be tidier. It’ll cause fewer rows.
Have two TV rooms
If your villa or apartment is big enough, consider having two living rooms. When you want to watch a movie together you can snuggle down together but it also gives you the option to have your own space. If you don’t have the space, just buy a recorder. That way neither of you have to miss your favourite programmes.
If your villa or apartment is big enough, consider having two living rooms. When you want to watch a movie together you can snuggle down together but it also gives you the option to have your own space. If you don’t have the space, just buy a recorder. That way neither of you have to miss your favourite programmes.
Have separate hobbies
Just because you’re married and living together, doesn’t mean you have to be joined at the hip. Separate hobbies are a good thing and will give you more to talk about when you do see each other. Spending an evening apart a week can help you miss each other and bring you closer together as a couple.
Just because you’re married and living together, doesn’t mean you have to be joined at the hip. Separate hobbies are a good thing and will give you more to talk about when you do see each other. Spending an evening apart a week can help you miss each other and bring you closer together as a couple.
Be patient
There’s always going to be an adjustment period when your relationship goes through a big change. If everything doesn’t fall into place straight away, don’t panic. Not every relationship is Prince Charming meets Cinderella’s Happy Ever After. Sometimes you need a little more work and sacrifice.
There’s always going to be an adjustment period when your relationship goes through a big change. If everything doesn’t fall into place straight away, don’t panic. Not every relationship is Prince Charming meets Cinderella’s Happy Ever After. Sometimes you need a little more work and sacrifice.
Be respectful
Living with your man is similar to having roommates. Admittedly you’re closer to him but the same rules still stand. Be polite, kind and respectful to each other and your relationship will be happier. Try not to scream at him when something annoys you. Just take a deep breath and ask if you can sit down for a discussion.
Living with your man is similar to having roommates. Admittedly you’re closer to him but the same rules still stand. Be polite, kind and respectful to each other and your relationship will be happier. Try not to scream at him when something annoys you. Just take a deep breath and ask if you can sit down for a discussion.
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