How to make sure your female friends stay that way

If you have a female friend who you'd love to turn into a girlfriend, we have advice for how to turn a best mate into a bed mate. But what if you have a female friend you want to keep that way? What do you do if your girl friend suddenly fancies herself as your girlfriend?
Because it's not an easy situation. She may never admit it outright, but if her actions make it clear that she has mentally moved you from the friend to the potential boyfriend file, it could spell trouble. Read on as MSN Him reveals how to make sure your female friends stay that way.
She may start dropping serious hints about her availability. She might start making a beeline for you whenever she sees you in the corridor at work or college. She might start flirting with you when you're out in a group (scaring other women away in the process).
In a word, it might start to become seriously difficult. In which case, if you have no desire for a romantic relationship with her, you may need to make it obvious.
Make sure she means it
Before you do anything drastic, are you sure it's all it seems to be? If you haven't known her that long, observe her with other men. She may just be a natural flirt, or she may flirt to cover up shyness.
In other words, you might not have to do anything at all. She may just be a particularly 'friendly' kind of friend. Lucky you.
Don't do anything silly
And she may not. She may have the total hots for you. So now is not the time to give in to your baser urges.
She's lovely and everything but you don't fancy her and you don't want a relationship with her. Fair enough. And if that's the case, you really don't want to muddy the waters by getting drunk at a party and snogging her or sleeping with her. If you do, she'll think that she has communicated her position to you and you have reciprocated. You're as good as an item.
We've all been there. It's not the noblest characteristic of male behaviour but, in some situations, any woman can seem preferable to no woman. But if you sleep with a friend who wants something more, you'll find it very hard to extricate yourself from the situation without serious harm to both your friendship and your reputation. Best not to go there at all.
Be her friend
OK, so she needs to get the message that you're not interested, without you actually having to tell her that you're not interested. So start by being a very good friend to her indeed.
That may sound counterproductive, but it won't be if you do it right. Chat to her about all the things friends chat about. Answer her texts. Offer advice when she needs it. Commiserate with her about her crappy boss or the creepy ex who won't sling his hook.
At the same time, make her a good friend to you. Mention the girl at work you fancy, your terrible football team and the big night out you're having with the lads. Emphasise the fact that your relationship is very much at the level of mates.
And if she tries to get you alone when you're out after work, act the innocent and call someone else over to join in the conversation. If she starts to steer a conversation onto what you consider dangerous ground, remember that you're suddenly desperate for the toilet or you need another drink.
If you do it subtly and stick to your guns, she'll get the message that you love her friendship, but that's it. And you won't have to say anything outright.
Be prepared
Still, even with that tactic in place, you need to be prepared for a moment of truth. Like men, women can be more volatile when they've had a few drinks or if they think there's nothing to lose.
So there's always the chance she'll make a lunge for you at a party, turn up at your place unexpectedly, or ask you out specifically because she 'has something to talk to you about'.
You can't ignore her forever, so if she insists on bringing the thing to a climax, forewarned is forearmed. Plan for the possibility of an emotional head-to-head.
If it comes to that, you have to be firm. It may seem easier to leave her with false hopes ('It's not you, I just don't want any sort of girlfriend at the moment'), but it's just storing up trouble for the future. She might hang on to that 'at the moment' for dear life.
If you don't want to be in the same situation six months down the line, tell her that you really value her friendship, but don't want a romantic relationship with her. You want to keep things as they are because you like it that way. And that's it.
Don't let the conversation go round in circles. If it does give it 15 minutes then make your (good) excuses and leave.
Have the courage of your conviction
Unless you've not been clear enough, that should do the trick. And when you haven't seen her for a while and she turns up in the pub looking tanned, slim and sexy - and with a new boyfriend in tow - gracefully accept that you had your chance and you made your decision. Rest assured that if you felt strongly enough to make it, it was almost certainly the right one.
Still, even with that tactic in place, you need to be prepared for a moment of truth. Like men, women can be more volatile when they've had a few drinks or if they think there's nothing to lose.
So there's always the chance she'll make a lunge for you at a party, turn up at your place unexpectedly, or ask you out specifically because she 'has something to talk to you about'.
You can't ignore her forever, so if she insists on bringing the thing to a climax, forewarned is forearmed. Plan for the possibility of an emotional head-to-head.
If it comes to that, you have to be firm. It may seem easier to leave her with false hopes ('It's not you, I just don't want any sort of girlfriend at the moment'), but it's just storing up trouble for the future. She might hang on to that 'at the moment' for dear life.
If you don't want to be in the same situation six months down the line, tell her that you really value her friendship, but don't want a romantic relationship with her. You want to keep things as they are because you like it that way. And that's it.
Don't let the conversation go round in circles. If it does give it 15 minutes then make your (good) excuses and leave.