By: Lizzie Cernik
Blonde hair, blue eyes and ‘just stepped off a boyband poster’ good looks. When I was 19, this pretty much summed up my ‘type’. The boys I dated always looked the same, inspired by the floppy haired singer I’d fancied from the high school rock band eight years earlier.
When I left university and moved away from home, I had an epiphany. Tired of being dumped by a succession of pretty boys in favour of the next blonde girl that came along, I decided to date outside my comfort zone. Tall guys, short guys, bald guys, dark haired guys. From now on, I was giving everyone a chance. (Well, within reason. If he smelt like a three day old kebab or had the personality of a wet flannel he wasn’t getting a look in.)
Initially I was sceptical. Still attracted to what I thought was ‘my type’, I wasn’t sure that any other guy was going to cut it. Breaking out of your comfort zone isn’t necessarily easy. I went on a few dates where I felt out of place or uncomfortable. But after falling for a man who looked the complete opposite of anyone I’d previously dated, I realised you could train yourself out of ‘types’.
So what are the golden rules to remember when you’re breaking your type?
Don’t forget your standards
I’m not talking about height or skin colour. Your high standards should be a man who’s kind and respectful. This isn’t something you should ever compromise on.
Don’t flog a dead horse
If you don’t fancy someone after three dates, it’s unlikely you ever will. Stringing someone along as an experiment is pretty mean, so if you don’t like him, gently let him go.
Try new ways to meet people
New hobbies, online dating, social media… the list of ways to meet new guys is endless. Make sure you try them all out.
Follow your interests
Just because you’re dating outside your usual type, it doesn’t mean you should waste time with people who are completely incompatible. It’s a good idea to have a bit of common ground.
Don’t be a snob
If you always date lawyers and doctors, now’s the time to mix it up and try something new. Try not to be snobby about a potential date’s job or background. You never know, he might surprise you.
Blonde hair, blue eyes and ‘just stepped off a boyband poster’ good looks. When I was 19, this pretty much summed up my ‘type’. The boys I dated always looked the same, inspired by the floppy haired singer I’d fancied from the high school rock band eight years earlier.
When I left university and moved away from home, I had an epiphany. Tired of being dumped by a succession of pretty boys in favour of the next blonde girl that came along, I decided to date outside my comfort zone. Tall guys, short guys, bald guys, dark haired guys. From now on, I was giving everyone a chance. (Well, within reason. If he smelt like a three day old kebab or had the personality of a wet flannel he wasn’t getting a look in.)
Initially I was sceptical. Still attracted to what I thought was ‘my type’, I wasn’t sure that any other guy was going to cut it. Breaking out of your comfort zone isn’t necessarily easy. I went on a few dates where I felt out of place or uncomfortable. But after falling for a man who looked the complete opposite of anyone I’d previously dated, I realised you could train yourself out of ‘types’.
So what are the golden rules to remember when you’re breaking your type?
Don’t forget your standards
I’m not talking about height or skin colour. Your high standards should be a man who’s kind and respectful. This isn’t something you should ever compromise on.
Don’t flog a dead horse
If you don’t fancy someone after three dates, it’s unlikely you ever will. Stringing someone along as an experiment is pretty mean, so if you don’t like him, gently let him go.
Try new ways to meet people
New hobbies, online dating, social media… the list of ways to meet new guys is endless. Make sure you try them all out.
Follow your interests
Just because you’re dating outside your usual type, it doesn’t mean you should waste time with people who are completely incompatible. It’s a good idea to have a bit of common ground.
Don’t be a snob
If you always date lawyers and doctors, now’s the time to mix it up and try something new. Try not to be snobby about a potential date’s job or background. You never know, he might surprise you.
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