We’ve been asking men for years to talk, express, show their emotions and bear it all in an open and direct manner. Now, with advances in technology and changes in communicating, it seems we want to take back some of those earlier demands we made on men. What am I talking about? Emoticons! While it is hard to express your tone, level of happiness and energy through writing, many people depend on shortcuts using Emoticons to express themselves. Interestingly, there seems to be a distinct difference across cultures and gender about the frequency and choice of images used. Some love them, while others absolutely loath them and think only unintelligent tinny boppers should use them. Is it linked to immaturity?
Here are some comments from women about how they feel when men use emoticons:
• Is this your idea of flirting? How pathetic!
• That freaky smile creeps me out – stop it!
• I think it’s cute, c’mon…why are we so hard on me…they have feelings too!
• He lacks the self-awareness to know that that is not something you do when you are not a twelve year old girl.
• Doesn’t really matter in texts, unless he’s using it way too much — and I hate the winkey face. That’s cheesy, always. In emails, it depends on the context! Never acceptable in a professional email.
• Pointless LOL’s are weird, especially from men. When I get an LOL without having said anything remotely funny, all I’m imagining is him in a dark room, laughing silently as he tries on his mom’s clothes.
• I LOVE when a guy uses emoticons! It lets me know they’re down to help me pick out throw pillows and will never ever mistake fuchsia for magenta.
• Why do they wink so much? Would they do that in real life?
Sandra was on date recently and she thought for the first time in a long time that she really enjoyed the evening, her date and the wonderful conversation they had throughout dinner. Until she got home and received a good night text from him. ‘Unfortunately it didn’t just say good night,’ she recalls, ‘it was the cheesiest most corny message I have ever received!’ What did the message say?
‘Gd nght princess (wink wink/cheezy smile) hpe u slp wll…dnt lt the bed bigs bit (picture of a bug) snding lots of hugs & kisses (a screen full of lips and arms).
Needless to say that was the beginning of the end. How is it that one’s personality in real interaction can seem so different to their virtual persona? I suppose the best bit of advice would be to try and align those two dimensions as closely as possible to avoid confusion and disappointment.
So what do you think? Should men use Emoticons or leave those funny faces to the girlies?
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